The journey to becoming pregnant is often an exciting one, but it can also be challenging, especially if things don’t go as quickly or smoothly as you’d hoped. For many couples, the process of trying to conceive can become stressful over time, and month after month of disappointment can make it hard to stay positive. Even the fun aspects of trying to conceive can start feeling like a chore, turning a joyful goal into something filled with pressure.

If this resonates with you, know that you’re not alone—and that it’s perfectly normal for it to take time to conceive. Even under ideal conditions, the chance of conceiving in a given month is around 25%. With that in mind, focusing on ways to stay encouraged and managing your stress along the way can help you feel more grounded and supported during this journey. Let’s look at some ways to support yourself emotionally and physically while trying to conceive.

Understanding the Natural Timing of Conception

First, it’s helpful to understand that conceiving can take time for perfectly healthy couples. You may be timing your cycles precisely, having regular intercourse during your fertile period, and doing everything you can to boost your chances. Yet even with all of this, it can take several cycles to conceive. In fact, most healthcare professionals consider it normal for conception to take up to a year for couples under 35, or up to six months if you’re over 35, before looking into possible fertility issues.

Each month, the chances of conceiving are roughly 25% with well-timed intercourse, even for couples with no known fertility challenges. This is a natural part of the process and doesn’t necessarily indicate a problem. Reminding yourself that it’s okay for this to take time can help shift your perspective and reduce some of the pressure you may be feeling.

The Link Between Stress and Conception

Stress is a natural part of life, but when it becomes chronic, it can impact many aspects of health—including fertility. While it’s not entirely clear how stress affects conception, some studies suggest that stress may play a role in up to 30% of infertility cases. Here’s a look at some ways stress may impact fertility:   

• Reduced Desire for Intimacy: When stress is high, libido often decreases, which can interfere with the frequency of intercourse.
• Hormone Imbalances: Chronic stress can raise levels of stress hormones like cortisol and epinephrine, which may disrupt other hormonal processes related to ovulation and conception.
• Reduced Blood Flow: Stress may reduce blood flow to the reproductive organs, impacting the environment in which conception takes place.
• Impact on Ovulation: In some cases, stress can interfere with regular ovulation, potentially reducing the number of eggs produced each cycle.   

It’s important to note that stress doesn’t prevent conception for everyone, and reducing stress is not a guaranteed solution. However, research suggests that actively managing stress can improve overall well-being and may support reproductive health.

Effective Ways to Reduce Stress While Trying to Conceive   

Managing stress can be challenging, especially when the goal you’re working toward feels so personal and significant. Fortunately, there are a variety of stress reduction techniques that are safe and gentle, and that can help you maintain a positive outlook. Here are some methods that many people find helpful:  

• Mindfulness Practices: Techniques such as meditation and deep breathing exercises are known to promote relaxation. Setting aside a few minutes each day to breathe deeply and focus on the present moment can help calm the mind.
• Prayer or Reflection: For those who find comfort in spirituality or personal reflection, prayer or quiet time can be grounding practices that help you reconnect with yourself and your intentions.
• Regular Breaks: Taking short breaks throughout the day—whether to step outside, stretch, or simply disconnect—can help relieve stress and provide mental refreshment.
• Napping or Rest: If you’re feeling physically and emotionally drained, short naps or quiet resting periods can be incredibly restorative.
• Acupuncture and Acupressure: Some people find that these ancient practices help balance their energy and reduce stress, though results vary. Be sure to work with a qualified practitioner who understands your goals.
• Massage Therapy and Reflexology: Physical relaxation therapies like massage and reflexology can help release tension and promote relaxation. A professional can tailor the approach to support overall wellness.
• Moderate Exercise: Physical activity is known to reduce stress by releasing endorphins, which are natural mood boosters. Consider gentle forms of exercise like walking, yoga, or swimming to stay active without overexerting yourself.  

It’s natural for stress levels to fluctuate, especially during the process of trying to conceive. The goal is not to eliminate all stress but to manage it in a way that helps you feel balanced and supported.

Reframing the Journey: Finding Joy in the Process

The journey to conceiving can feel long, but it can also be an opportunity to deepen your relationship and create memories. Focusing on enjoying the process can help relieve some of the pressure. Here are some ways to keep the experience positive:  

• Plan “Non-Baby” Activities: Planning date nights, outings, or simple activities that don’t focus on trying to conceive can help you and your partner reconnect. Making memories and sharing joyful experiences can bring a refreshing balance to your journey.
• Celebrate Small Wins: Every cycle, whether or not you conceive, is a step closer to understanding your body and your health. Celebrate the things you’re learning about yourself and your partner, and recognize the effort you’re both putting in.
• Journal Your Thoughts and Goals: Writing down your thoughts and feelings can be a powerful tool for releasing stress and staying connected to your goals. It can also be an outlet to express any frustration and help you stay grounded and encouraged.   

When to Seek Medical Support

If you’ve been trying to conceive for a while, it’s completely normal to feel frustrated or anxious. In some cases, a check-in with a healthcare provider can provide insight or peace of mind. Most doctors recommend seeking fertility support after one year of trying for those under 35, or after six months for those over 35.

A healthcare provider can help identify any potential underlying issues and guide you on the best next steps. For many couples, understanding any medical factors can bring a sense of clarity, and treatment options are available for a wide range of fertility concerns. Sometimes, simply knowing what may be affecting fertility can help reduce stress and empower you with options.

Staying Encouraged and Supported   

The path to parenthood is unique for every couple, and it’s natural to experience ups and downs along the way. Staying encouraged can take many forms, from practicing self-care to connecting with supportive friends or family members. Some people also find comfort in joining support groups, where they can share experiences with others who understand the journey of trying to conceive.

Remember that it’s okay to seek out encouragement, whether from a partner, a friend, a counselor, or a support group. Staying hopeful doesn’t mean ignoring the challenges—it means finding ways to support yourself through them. By focusing on both physical and emotional well-being, you can make this journey a time of growth, self-discovery, and resilience.

Trying to conceive can be a challenging process, but you’re not alone. Taking time to care for yourself, connect with others, and seek professional support when needed can help you feel empowered and encouraged along the way. Here’s to a journey that brings you closer to your goals, with a sense of calm, connection, and hope.